Sunday, October 30, 2011

all about food

I have found myself lately lacking the motivation to post. 
There is a huge combination of factors, but one is the feeling that my day to day is just too day to day--too quotidian to be of interest. When I explained that to my little sis, she asked some questions as prompts and one of them was about food. "food..." she asked. "...what do you miss from the states, what can you get there, what are your favorites, what do you usually have for dinner?"  Oh such good questions. Food is love and joy and the weary boredom of the supermarket. Yeah, I can say a bit about food.

So, what do I miss in the way of food from the states?  The very first thing that comes to mind is cereal and twizzlers (black, red, chocolate--all of them). I miss having a cereal aisle that you can get lost in and that it takes like 15 or 20 minutes to choose what kind you'll eat tomorrow because there are just that many to pick from.

The biggest reverse culture shock I get when I go back to the states is in the supermarket. It is pure stimulus overload and I want to buy and eat all the cool things that I cannot get my hands on (easily) here like lime chile tortilla chips and bags of rocket and frozen dinners (which I know are not that good, but how easy life would be...!). I miss the spice aisle with all is possiblities--our choices are pretty limited here with simple garlic, basil, thyme and their other italian cousins and red pepper. There are some cool Japanese spices like Seven spice red pepper (not that hot), and a little guy called "Yuzu Kosho" --yuzu is a citrus and kosho is pepper, and this packs some heat which is usually sorely lacking in the other seasonings that we can get. I use it in noodles and with meat.

So, anyway it is the supermarkets in the US that make me swoon. I know that if/when I leave Japan there will be things that I would/will miss. Things like really fresh tofu and soba noodles. But right here, right now I miss variety and choices.

What do we eat?
lots of white rice.
oooh the shame!
I cook brown rice sometimes because I like its texture and know that it is healthy. Still, I have a husband who is Japanese and of a certain age and brown rice to him is like serving up squirrel; it was what people ate when they were poor and desperate. White rice was for the rich and royal (and gave them beri-beri too, but who cares about that little detail?). He has to have white rice once a day or he doesn't feel like he has eaten.  We eat some kind of main dish like ginger pork or spicy eggplant and miso soup and white rice many, many times each month. We don't eat a lot of fish or seafood because I, being land-locked Utah raised, never learned to deal with scales or bones and Shuji, amazingly enough, does not care for ocean creatures much--except for salmon (which I see as a river fish anyway...) We also top our white rice in traditional "donburi" ricebowl fashion. Teriyaki chicken with leek and savory chicken and egg with onion are two favorites.

We eat a lot of tofu in the summer because it is so good and cold and fresh. We eat it "as is" with grated ginger, soy sauce and chopped green onion. We eat a lot of noodles in the summer too. Somen noodles are good for hot days when we don't want to cook and are dipped in a savory ginger laden sauce.

We eat a lot of veggies--whatever is in season. Mostly there is eggplant, napa cabbage, bok choy, leeks and at least three kinds of mushrooms--maitake are my faves-- for a variety of stir fry or as a topping for chow mein. We also use "kabocha" pumpkin to make soups or stir fry with garlic and soy sauce. We eat quite a bit of okra, but it is expensive by US standards--as is pretty much everything here and amazingly I can get zucchini so we use it a lot in pasta sauce or steamed, baked or brownied--i make a lot of cookies because the snack aisle is seriously lacking too.

There are really only two kinds of potatoes here and neither of them are the great-for-baking Idaho kind. In fall and winter I make a lot of chicken, veggie, bean soups and stews with my slow cooker. I bake bread--well the bread machine does and so we eat a real mix of traditional Japanese recipes and "Western" food. Shuji loves fajitas (I am going to have to break down and make enchiladas pretty soon because I cannot just go to down to Taco Time or the local good Mexican restaurant to get my fix--tamales-oh god, are something that I have put behind me) and barbecued or pulled pork. I can get tortillas, cheese, salsa, pretty much anything from a store called FBC (foreign buyer's club) and there is a service called "the flying pig" that can send us food from the two or three Costco stores in Japan. But ordering is expensive and a pain--because you have to plan in advance and one does not always want to plan dinner that far in advance. We get our oatmeal from the flying pig and that is what we eat every day for breakfast. It is boring, but it keeps our cholesterol levels low. (and makes great cookies as all good Utah girls know.)

So, I guess we are pretty healthy with what we eat. We only eat out maybe once a month, Indian food or eel or things like tempura that we don't make at home. Sometimes we get pizza (Pizza hut, they will top your pie with tuna or squid, but you can't get ham & pineapple) or take out from the local "bento" place. They make boxed lunches (that include white rice!) and if meetings run late they make a decent dinner. Miyazaki has pretty good ramen too, but eating out is also pricey and even though neither of us have high blood pressure, I worry about what all this salt in our diet (soy sauce in everything!!) is doing to my/our stomach(s).

I could go on, but will stop here. I am sure I have tried your patience this far. So, there you have it: FOOD--what I eat and what I miss. Time to get up and go push the button on the rice cooker--vegetable stir fry and yep, you guessed it--white rice for dinner tonight.

copy cat--been there, done that

22 things 
--that i feel pretty good about having done

1.  climbed mt. fuji (before it got all cool to do)
2. broke up with my 5 year high school/uni boyfriend because I knew i was becoming a stepford wife
3.  rode an elephant in Thailand, slept in a hammock on the River Kwai
4. read whole books in japanese and french
5. went to see "Paris Texas" with my brother in Paris, France
6.  kayaked some scary rivers (class 3 & 4)(west coast, east coast & Japan)
7. hiked in (up) and tented overnight--have not done this enough, but am glad that I have done it.
8. walked up a river/canyon when I knew there were leeches
9.  lived w/in the same zip code for 20 years
10. got my master's in under 2 years while working full time
11. learned to drive on both sides of the road--really scared some poor woman down by my old post office--sorry! before i got the hang of it.
12. got married in Vegas and honeymooned at the rental beach house where my grandparents moved before they bought their retirement house
13.  worked at a Goodyear tire store for 5 years in high school and college
14. dated a rodeo rider
15.  got a job at a very good uni that is hard to get into as an "unknown/darkhorse" just out of her master's program-that's part of what got me this job and my "associate professor" status
16. spent three summers at my aunt's in AK doing odd jobs for her father-in-law, painting, gophering and doing grunt work to earn enough to pay for my way back again each summer
17. called the cops on my mom's third ex when he broke his restraining order
18. seen a sea turtle while stand-up-paddle boarding on the ocean
19. typed 2 academic books for an author when i was in college for some extra money. did it on an early mac using a program called "pagemaker" and it included the recreating the original graphs and charts from scratch
20. got a job offer at 2 UT high schools to teach general English, etc. (starting pay 16,800) opted for better pay (roughly 26,000) and less work (teaching conversation) in an exotic setting (ha! Wakayama!) and thus started my "career" of teaching at 20. celebrated my 21st birthday in japan by climbing the above-mentioned Mt. Fuji and spending the night at a temple on Mt. Koya.
21. watched summer fireworks from the top of a mountain overlooking the sea
22. Showed my Japanese husband how to use the ATM make a wire transfer (they are really complicated here and can do so much more than just let you get at your cash) at our local Japanese bank

so those are 22+ things that are kind of worth mentioning. And I do like the idea of 22 things that one has done rather than 22 things that one has not done for a kind of "yep, this is who I am" sharing post.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Questioning--Is this who I was supposed to be?


It is easy to look up and wonder. It is easy to look around or down and wonder.
It is easy to look with envy at someone else's greener seeming grass.

In the process of some reading for a continuing education course I am planning I ran across the following blurb:


[Ms. A.--definitely not her real name] "works at TESOL and has her Masters in ESL administration. She has managed a school in Vietnam, trained teachers in South Korea, implemented school reform in Qatar, run a circus train classroom for Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey, and taught 8th grade writing in Maryland. Prior to all that, Sarah was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Ethiopia. She is also a certified ashtanga yoga instructor and has managed an eco-lodge in Chugchilan, Ecuador." 

I love my husband, like my job most of the time and sometimes feel like I am making some kind of difference for a few people. But wow! All of those near miss coincidences: I was going to go the Peace Corps route before I chose to come and work in Japan. (I chose the security of a steady paycheck over the chances of malaria and dysentery.) I occasionally do yoga and have been to the circus, but "managed" and "run" are not verbs that really go with my life. --except for maybe "managed to stay married" and have "run" out of oatmeal for breakfast because I forgot to order it from the international food store.

Ah, well...Envy is what I felt when I read all that this woman had accomplished. And knowing that at the heart of my jealous feelings was a seed of truth that I just lack the drive and desire to go that far.

Sigh. Off to "manage" a team taught Intro to Sociology class for 26 lovely freshmen.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

being the grown up


The other night I could not sleep. That in and of itself is worthy of a post--I can always sleep. I was never a night-owl; was one of those (rare?) kids that begged to go to bed and never pestered for a drink of water. But I wander from my purpose.

I could not sleep so, of course, I turned to the Internet to relieve my boredom. Twitter led me to a sight called Cracked.com and an article entitled "5 ways to Tell You're Getting Too Old for Video Games".  I freely admit to visiting Twitter, but the other, never before my 3:00 a.m. foray--blame it on a Roger Ebert tweet. I don't even play video games except for an occasional bout of Wii and of course Plants VS Zombies... But, getting back to the article--it was what it was, nevertheless, part of it stuck with me and I decided to post what I thought.

The author wrote about how he was feeling old because of how video gaming had changed since he was a young gamer. He talked about missing "storylines that were actually compelling" and gave an instance of his children playing a particular game and said "I watch my kids play games now that barely have a story at all, yet they're transfixed.  It's almost like they're seeing something I'm not." He goes on to tell about how his kids got into playing Grand Theft Auto in a very imaginative way and then he wrote "Wait a second. Is it possible that those old games did not do anything magical with their programming to create "immersion", and that, like my kids with GTA, I "immersed" myself in those games because I was playing them at a time before I was dead inside?" He goes on to say "I can play a zombie game now and I just see a bunch of boring, repetitive enemies. My kids can't even be in the same room with me--they find those games terrifying because they're imagining themselves in the game, fighting the zombies."

I think he got the part where his kids find the zombies terrifying right, but the "dead inside" bit was where he went wrong. Grown ups get bored with the zombies because we are desensitized. We have to be. We have to be the ones to kill the cockroaches, shoo the spiders and lizards outside and keep the creatures that dwell under the beds----not to mention the real world bogeymen at bay. If we were still afraid of the zombies--if we still saw them as real, then we couldn't give our kids (or our friends kids or our nieces and nephews) the reassurance of a place to go when they have bad dreams. We are not dead inside. We are just grown ups. We want to protect our darling little ones from the imaginary evils and the real evils for as long as possible. Childhood *is* full of magic because there is so much that kids have not yet learned. They are still trying to make sense of the larger, mysterious adult world that they are growing into. For a while, they still believe in Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, so, yeah, the zombies are real.

So that's what I ran across one night a while back when I couldn't sleep. Not particularly profound (pretty random actually) but I want to get back in the habit of posting...

Friday, September 16, 2011

A Sense of Home

Last night I saw a recap on Japan's equivalent of PBS of a film festival that took place last week. I love film and have been to a couple of local film festivals over the years and I was really sad that I had missed this one.



the screen was handmade by the local elem. students
I felt sad not only because I had missed seeing some really cool shorts (all of the films were 3.11 minutes long to commemorate the earthquake/tsunami disaster on 3/11 and the showing took place on 9.11 to offer recognition to the tragedy on that date ten years ago.) but also because it would have been absolutely amazing to have gone to the venue. It was shown at one of the holiest places (to me) in the region where I used to live. These photos give a sense of what it would have been like, even if you don't understand Japanese.

Actually, it broke my heart not to be able to go. It has been 2 years and 6 months since we moved and I do like it here. It is so better in so many ways than where we were in terms of location and also in terms of where we are in our life and our marriage. But I lived in Kansai for 21 years and all of my old haunts are there. We are making good, new memories and traditions down here in Kyushu, but it hurts to see the fond and familiar so far out of reach. And it broke my heart to know that there is no one who would understand how much I miss this particular place--except for Shuji and even he doesn't get it because it is just another very Japanese place that I used to drag him to to walk and hike and bike all the time.

So, I stole the title for this post from the name of the film fest. But it fits. I am still trying to find a sense of home. There will always be longing for my birth country, or my adopted Kansai and then when we eventually leave here we will mourn for Miyazaki too I suppose. I hope we don't stay here long enough to get that attached...

'nuff said.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

where did i go...

where i always go--to work. it eats me up and spits me out and all i have energy left for is to spend time talking with Shuji and doing the usual routine.

Lots of stuff has been going on at work. Too many meetings, too much extra-curricular crap that makes me feel pulled in too many different directions. Summer is coming. I will get some rest, regroup and refocus.

I want to end on a happy note. These are the things that have made me smile lately:
a student's mum telling me that her daughter *loves* my class.
a student telling me she was really glad that she had been able to talk with me about a serious problem in her life and that it had made a difference.
a new song my cousin shared with me.
an old song I ran across that kick-started my heart.
a boy coming to show me a chrysalis.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

taking a moment

last night i stopped for a moment. i watched a pair of bats swirling and swinging, snatching their dinners out of the dusky sky.

yesterday afternoon i stopped for a moment and stood on the stairs by the faculty car park. i breathed in the smell of the cows (no eewwws please--as odd as it may sound they are a childhood comfort smell for me) and closed my eyes, closed my mind where it tries to tendril off toward work and responsibilities and just listened to the warbles and trills and the wind in the leaves.

right now i am taking a moment. listening to "running up that hill" and writing this. thinking about the inspiring words i just read.

too much of my day is spent behind a desk, in meetings, classrooms--talking, preparing, doing chores when i would rather be elsewhere. i am not whining. i need to work. i like my students. i love teaching. i just forget the big picture--i lose it among all the little nasty jobs that need to get done. i need to remember to take a moment and breathe, pull back and remember other things that are just as important as "making a living".  I want to make a life, live well--not just go through my day as I "make a living".

Sunday, June 5, 2011

fireflies--hotaru

we drove an hour and a half south and waited in the quiet shadows of evening.
there were no cars or machines or people (or mosquitoes, that was a bonus.)  there was only the sound of the water, crickets and frogs.

one by one the lights began to come on--small glowing pinpoints floating out of the darkness where trees line the riverbank. soon there were hundreds blinking on and off--a mad cheshire heartbeat; a string of Christmas decorations in the air.

it was astonishing. we were mesmerized. we didn't speak, only nudged and pointed. we stayed until they began to hide away slowly disappearing under leaves and stems. "OMG!" "Wow!" "We'll have to come back next year."

it was not my first time, but i have never such a gathering. if i close my eyes i can still see them. short, beautiful rainy season gift.

Monday, May 2, 2011

presents--all for me--all in the name of love

I love my husband. That is not always a "given" in a relationship and so I am grateful.

The reason why I am spouting on about my feelings for him is that today he brought me home a present. It didn't cost him anything and it was all the better that it didn't.*

He knows me well and knows that spending time outdoors is one of the things that makes my fur lie flat. He has been going out in the hills and walking while I am at work. I am not jealous of this--I am in fact very glad that he is getting out of the house and getting exercise. It would not do to waste all the fitness that we found for ourselves during the winter months. (During the week I have to make do with the stationary bike and my yoga ball...That's OK too because I can catch up on Gray's Anatomy and House while I sweat.)




Anyway, Shuji brought this video back from his latest solo excursion. It was a taste of Spring with all its creatures great and small that is waiting for me until I can get out into it again.

*He also brought me home this bit of monkey poo a few weeks ago. I am not especially fond of monkey poo. Certainly it does not warm my heart like the voices of the "kajika" frogs in the video. But he could not catch the monkeys on film, so he did the next best thing. It makes me feel good that he knows me well enough and that our relationship is stable enough for him to (without hesitation) bring me a photo of poo.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

knowing how to have a good time--Happy Golden Week 2011



We are all products of our environment--that is to the extent that we cannot say "NO" to those voices from our past that creep into the back (or front) of our minds as we live our daily lives. Even though I am in my forties, even though I live half a world away from the people who raised me, even though I have learned to ignore most of the little things--some tidbits of advice, parental mantras or family obsessions remain and surface from time to time.

Tonight I was drying my hair and as I looked in the mirror I thought "My gran would not like this hairstyle (cut, length, style)."

It is not like it matters. She will certainly not see me and even if she did I would be able to say politely that I am sorry she does not like it or something akin to that and would not need to get testy back. I have, at least, grown up that much. But it is amusing how much we want approval from our elders and how we (or at least I used to) glow when we get a pat on the head.

I remember this same gran saying once how Shuji and I sure know how to have a good time. This was in comparison to an aunt and uncle who in her eyes did not have this desirable trait. In my eyes, the aunt and the uncle are happy. They get along well and are very supporting of and loving with one another. But I guess that isn't enough.

Well, she is right. Shuji and I certainly know how to enjoy ourselves...

Sunday, April 17, 2011

coming up for air

Ever since I was a small child I have needed a lot of sleep. I was never one of those hard to deal with, night-owl kids who drove their parents insane begging for glasses of water or cookies at midnight. I was the child who sat rubbing fists into her bleary eyes and asked permission to go to bed. I am still that way. I have not been able to get all the sleep I wanted this week and have been cranky because of it. (Anyone with a child who reads this will surely thing of me as soft, I know. I realize that I have nothing to whine about in my sheltered, childless state.)

But our crisis here is exhausting too.

On top of it came the beginning of Spring Semester and all its madness. I went to bed last night at 9:30 and slept till 8:00. All that shut eye (and getting so much done during the week) did a lot to make me feel better.  I cannot really do anything about what is going on in the north. I am weary of all the news and frightened by the lack of useful information as well as the lack of progress with the stupid reactors.
 But in spite of all this and all the suffering that I know is being felt, the rest of Japan cannot stop living and working and trying to feel normal.

Yesterday on the way to a school event (yes I had to work on Saturday. That's yet another reason why I needed so much catch up sleep) we saw our local family of swans out on the irrigation canal where they have built their nest. On the way back we stopped and took some photos. The photos are not great, but the mom and the birds were so sweet--with the wee little ones climbing on her back to stay warm and safe (this is a better view of how that works). That and the new green leaves and the gorgeous cherry blossoms that we have had have lifted my spirits a bit. 

Monday, March 21, 2011

still here

It has been a while. 
I was not up to writing in February and then there was March.

I admit to having been damaged--not directly by the quake or the horrible black tide, but by the images of such great loss and having those horrors go hand in hand with such worry for the future.

The French Embassy evacuated people from Tokyo, the US State Department (ridiculously) recommends that Americans not travel to Japan:  
"The State Department strongly urges U.S. citizens to defer travel to Japan at this time and those in Japan should consider departing". 

This warning was found on the Dept. of State website and  is NOT helpful. I think that their statement just adds to the confusion. I live in Kyushu. Why should I consider leaving my job, my extended family and abandon people here who depend on me?  My friends and family back home--who are unaware of the geography of Japan will read these "official" warnings and begin to beg me to "come home" or send me table salt. (The British Embassy is passing out iodine in Niigata--also far away and unaffected by the earthquake damage and tsunami.)  


I know that there has been bungling and deception--TEPCO, the power company that runs the reactors in Fukushima have been trying to cover up their greed and idiocy for years. Still, this is NOT Chernobyl. Radiation damage is and will be limited. Rumors fly, but based on what is currently known, it is still very, very safe.
"I quote from the "this is not Chernobyl" site above: 
 "The only thing I’m worried about getting “exposed” to is the sensationalism in the foreign press that is causing widespread panic."

It has not yet been two weeks and there are already some signs of light. This is JAPAN folks--stoic, resilient, Japan. It will rise again from the ashes.

There has been profound dignity in the face of apocalyptic disaster. I am proud of the people here and will do what I can to help things move forward.

Monday, January 31, 2011

signs of spring

 One last stone for the January road...


this wind wraps around me
a dark and icy coat
the lining filled with
memories--failures past
worries present

I shake it off.
I will not suffer it
it is not who i am now
Spring is coming
I will dance bare-shouldered
in her hopeful petal showers

Sunday, January 30, 2011

solar power

sun reaches in
through bars of
winter-bare trees
spilling into
yellow puddles on
ground

i stand still
face up
eyes closed
arms raised
grateful,
charging

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Fire in the sky

or at least smoke...

sound we could not hear
battering the window panes
fitful toss and turn
knowing that in the dark
to the west and above us
was a monster


We are safe from the bulk of the ash and the drama, but nevertheless it is a bit disturbing to see a massive, black cloud that reaches from the ground and keeps growing and growing across the sky.  It was dark well before it should have been and the bits of ash dropping on the windshield made me think of Pompeii. The "sound we could not hear" is the sound waves that are sent out from an eruption. They rattle the windows and shutter like no wind could ever do. It feels like some creature from a horror film trying (successfully) to unsettle us so we will go outside an take a peek.


Monday, January 24, 2011

from my office window

 
glide and flap
the branch sways
in his beak a strip of foil
clever crow boy brings home bling
for his newly made girlfriend

Sunday, January 23, 2011

poor worms...

egrets stalk a bright blue tractor
their snow-white feathers stark
against the rich brown soil

Saturday, January 22, 2011

What we have been up to

Breaking in new shoes...

I have been posting a lot about our recent hikes and thought I would try my hand at making a video montage of where we have been to give a better picture of what it is like here. My abilities with iMovie are really pathetic. And I do realize that the Ken Burns effect is overused, but I couldn't stop myself. Beware.

At least it is short. We certainly had a good time doing the content of the photos.

This is best viewed small. I am trying to make a better, clearer one that could be viewed large. 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

on the bridge



today I am
loving
the stomp and thrum
of my new
boots
striking the
rough worn planks
crossing
the river



I have new boots. I am Wonder Woman. I can fly.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

eventide


sunlight slants
shadows lengthen
time to breathe
out
and
in

time to go home
to head for
hearth and the
heart
that
waits
there

Evening is my favorite time of day. It is not as luscious in the winter as in the summer, but it is still my favorite. The world seems to slow down. Every care, every hassle seems to disappear for a while.

Maybe I love it because of all the good times I had as a kid playing outside until being called in for dinner. Maybe I love it because for such a long time I worked from 3 to 9 and never got to see the sunsets--so I don't take them for granted. Whatever--love the evening.
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