Monday, September 6, 2010

what do you hear in these sounds?

I like Dar Williams. No surprise there eh?
One of her songs goes like this:

And I wake up and I ask myself what state I'm in
And I say well I'm lucky, cause I am like East Berlin
I had this wall and what I knew of the free world
Was that I could see their fireworks
And I could hear their radio
And I thought that if we met, I would only start confessing
And they'd know that I was scared
They'd would know that I was guessing
But the wall came down and there they stood before me
With their stumbling and their mumbling
And their calling out just like me...and...

It gives me comfort. "With their stumbling and their mumbling and their calling out just like me..."

She caught it just right. I often feel like I am the only one who doesn't have it right. It being life--how to live. There is this voice in my head and an imp on my back that whispers in my ear and tells me that I haven't made it yet.

I have a "different" life. I have made "different" choices that are at a glance off the mainstream path. What may look like confidence and courage is just me walking my way along the tracks that I have laid down. So, the words of this song give me comfort. I think because good old Dar wrote this that maybe I am not the only one who tries to put up a good front, but inside is worried that everyone will "know that I was guessing." But maybe they already know... Maybe the wall never really comes down.

oh it is an endless circle.
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